Let It Go…Again

Let It Go.

It’s not just an overplayed Disney song (my apologies if you’re singing it now), it should be a way of life.

I am guilty of obsessing over trying to fix things that I may not be able to fix. I spent my morning doing just that.

Ever since my husband’s employment status changed last year, our income took a hit. We were living comfortably until then. Not richly, but comfortably. Taking a vacation was not out of the equation. Paying for the unexpected car repair wasn’t a choice between eating steak or ground round. Fortunately he found work within two months, but at a significant pay cut. And we feel it.

I can easily fall into the trap of juggling numbers and stressing over bills, and trying to pay for the dentist bill, the cable bill, and our children’s college all at once. By the way, my oldest won’t start college for 4 more years, but that won’t stop me from pretending that Rush Week starts on Monday.

I could get two more jobs, reinvent myself, put the kids to work (not really), or I could keep on trucking. I mean, we aren’t poor by any measure. We get by just fine, it’s just that the budget is tight and we have to account for every penny. Mostly that’s because of my own fear. I’m the penny pincher. My husband is much more relaxed about our provisions than I am. But I think that’s the difference in our personalities.

That’s where Elsa’s song comes to mind. But before Elsa knew to sing about letting your fears go, Jesus knew it. In fact, he instructs us to do it. He wants us to come to Him and lay our burdens at His feet. So why does it take me so long to figure it out? Why do I let it go only to pick it right back up again?

I think it happens most often when I’m not walking beside Him. When I’m not seeking Him daily. When I don’t hear His voice in my ear, then I tend to fill it in with my own voice. And if there’s one thing I know, it’s that my voice can NEVER replace God’s. But isn’t that exactly what I’m doing while I’m obsessing and stressing? I just need to trust, to listen, to let go and let God.

I need to work on that. What things in your life do you keep picking up that you really should let go?

Finding your way home

home-1194441_1920 (1)

I have several people in my life that, for different reasons, have made choices completely contradictory to their nature, their beliefs, and their character. I don’t understand how it all happened. How did they get that far down the road and not look at where they were going?

The problem is that now they find themselves in the position of feeling like they can’t go home again. They’ve screwed up to a point beyond embarrassment, and they think they can’t take it all back, make amends, and go home again. They’ve given up.

It’s tragic.

And it’s not true. They’ve told themselves lies over and over, to the point where those lies have become their truth. #findyourtruth

My heart aches for them. My heart aches for the separation they must feel.

I don’t want that to ever happen to my children. I know I can’t protect them, and I can’t predict their future. But I can equip them.

My kids are going to make mistakes. Big ones. We all do and we all have. Some mistakes are hard to take back because they hurt other people. We have to learn to say “I’m sorry” and really mean it. Some mistakes have long term repercussions. Some people spend their life trying to make up for those mistakes.

But a lot of mistakes involve our own pride.

I want my kids to know there isn’t anything they can do that will ever permanently separate them from my love. Or from God’s love.

No matter how embarrassed they are, I want them to know that I will always love them.

I think the only way to truly show them this is by example. It’s by letting my kids see me loving those people that I mentioned at the top of this blog. I can show them that love is bigger than mistakes.

I can equip my kids by loving them through their mistakes, even the small ones. If I establish a standard, a foundation, that they know they can always come home, then hopefully that will stick with them.

And I will teach them about God’s forgiveness. It’s not a one time lesson, but rather it’s an ongoing relationship.

As for those people I mentioned earlier, I know I can’t change things, and I can’t fix what’s been done, but I love them in spite of. And I pray that they will find their way home.