A Letter to My Kids – My Fear

In this life, you will face a lot of decisions. Some of them will be easy, others will be hard. Some will affect you immediately, others not so much. You won’t see the results, or the consequences, of some decisions for a long time. Those are the ones I worry about the most.

Your life’s journey will be, at times, like walking through a marketplace with vendors screaming for your attention. Tempting you with their offers that you can’t refuse. There will be snake oil salesmen and tricksters looking for unsuspecting victims. You need to watch out for those people the most.

There will be times in your life when you will feel like a square peg in a round hole, trying your hardest to fit somewhere. That’s when you will be most vulnerable. Don’t be afraid to seek wise counsel in those moments from people you trust. And I don’t mean people you meet on the internet.

When you are without confidence and haven’t figured out who you are, there will be people that will be looking for you, waiting for you to seek them out, and that’s when they’ll strike. Some call it grooming, and I don’t necessarily mean in a sexual way. They will be looking to form an emotional connection with you, one that you haven’t found from your peers. But that connection will be trivial at best. They will see you coming, they will sense your insecurities, your vulnerabilities, and they’ll use them to get what they want from you.

I know you don’t believe me and think I’m being over-protective and even over-reactive. But it can happen in an instant and take a lifetime to heal. These people will cross your boundaries and push you further than you are comfortable with and won’t care what harm they do.

I will always be there for you, even if I have to watch from afar. I may not agree with some of your decisions, but it doesn’t change my love for you.

The best thing you can do is arm yourself, first with God, but also with confidence. People who want to cross boundaries hate confidence. It undermines everything they try to do. It means you don’t “need” them. Confidence will put a road block in front of every trick they have.

So, be the square peg in a round hole. You don’t have to fit in. You don’t have to conform. Some of the smartest people are known for not conforming. Embrace your “weirdness.” Because even when you think you are the only “weird” one out there, you’ll soon realize that we are ALL weird in some way. That’s what makes us human. That’s what makes us beautiful.

When you feel the worst, listen to Christina Aguilera’s song “You Are Beautiful” until you believe it to be true.

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