Mom, can I have a ride?


I don’t drive. It’s not a subject that I talk about very often, but I’m epileptic and therefore, don’t have a driver’s license. It’s inconvenient and the suburbs are not made for people who don’t drive. Fortunately, my husband picks up A LOT of the slack…when he can. And I have a good village that helps out as well.

I knew when I had kids that there would be challenges because of my “disability,” but one that I didn’t really consider was the disadvantage that not driving would have on my relationship with my kids. #drivingchallenges

Think about it, for those of you who drive. Where do you get to eaves drop on your kids’ lives without directly talking to them? Where do you have spontaneous conversations about little (or big) events in their lives? Where do you hear how they relate to their friends?

The answer is IN THE CAR on the way to somewhere.

I’m especially missing these moments now that my daughter has reached the teenage years, and some days, would be perfectly happy not to speak to us at all if she didn’t have to. In the car she would be a captive audience.

When we’re at home, all bets are off. I’m competing with so many other (and better) distractions that are available to her. Why would she want to talk to me? She’s got homework, unlimited internet entertainment, and ear buds that completely block me out.

I don’t blame her. I get it. She doesn’t think I understand, but I do. She forgets that I was once a teenager too. And even now, there are days I’d like to block everyone out, but I can’t. I’m part of the family. And she is too.

How do I get her interest, if even for a moment? There’s too much competition, and I am clearly trailing in the race right now.

So don’t take those carpool trips for granted. Don’t miss the opportunities you have when your kids are a captive audience. Those moments are golden; they can’t be replaced, and they can’t be manufactured.

Still looking for my “captive audience” opportunity. I haven’t given up, not by a long shot. I just have to be a little more creative. Okay…a LOT more creative. I’ll let you know when I figure it out.


  1. Thanks again for the transparency and honesty! Your post reminded me to be grateful for those captive moments because they are indeed precious in this age of digital overload. Cooking snacks and meals with my boys are another way I sneak in some one on one time.

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  2. Gosh i totally understand.i as well have disability that prevents me from driving.although i live where there are alot of things in walking distance.thats when i get my tslks in. Luckiky there are resteraunts we can walk to ss well , i like to take my boys out to lunch and they can tell me about their lives.does she like to cook or bake , the kitchen is also a place we get talks in,,,while im cooking dinner such..good luck.

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