“Looks like I’m frog food today”
“I already cut myself out of the belly of a frog, so it’s a good day”
“Jump and kill!”
“I’m gonna charge into the tent!”
“I have a single-handed ax to use”
Are these the ramblings of a mad man, locked away in a padded room? Or maybe the lost screenplay to yet another Conan the Barbarian movie?
My husband and I have been married for almost 16 years. We’ve built a life together, had 2 children together, bought a home together, and stuck together through good times and bad.
But there will ALWAYS be a Great Divide between us. He is a nerd, and I am not.
This wasn’t a surprise to me. I knew it going in, when he’d spend entire Saturdays hanging out with his friends playing D&D or Magic, and yet, I still said “I do.” He even played a game of Magic with his groomsmen on the morning of our wedding. I knew this was part of his fiber, and it was here to stay.
It’s not like I’m the coolest mom on the block, most days I’m not even popular in my own home. I don’t see myself as lofty and above playing nerd games. But I CAN’T STAND (only all caps can express my feelings properly) strategy games that take hours and hours to complete. Give me the long, drawn out epic games that take days to prepare for, with charts, and stats, and character design, and you’ve lost me. But give me a game of “Sorry” or “Uno” and I’m a happy camper.
That’s where The Great Divide comes in.
There’s a happy medium, however, if The Great Divide is balanced properly. It can be a healthy divide. I think couples need their own “thing” – mine is writing, his is nerding.
It also shows my kids that my husband and I can be two individuals with varying differences, who can still come together for the common goal of being together. Not every marriage is like that, but for us it works. In fact, for us, space is essential. I wouldn’t ask him to give up his love of RPG because it would be asking him to give up a piece of himself. And he wouldn’t ask me to stop writing, because he knows I’m happiest when I’m deeply involved in my latest WIP.
And it gives my kids something that they can share with Dad, and ONLY with Dad. It brings them together and bonds them in a way I can’t understand, and I wouldn’t change that for anything. #geekdad