I Surrender

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I’ve noticed many of the blogs I follow don’t make New Year’s Resolutions; rather they make “One Word” resolutions.

I like that idea. It paints with a much broader brush than a singular resolution.

It also comes at a time when I am absolutely overwhelmed by what life keeps dealing to me and my family.

Since October of 2015, there seems to be this string of events that has been set off, and every day I wake up to something new and frustrating.

In a nutshell, there have been unplanned financial events that just seem to keep on coming: surgeries, which then lead to medical bill after medical bill to dredge through, the loss of a job, new tires on the car, the washing machine is holding on by a thread, the dryer isn’t drying the clothes, so the dryer vent guy is coming today (I’m keeping my fingers crossed that it’s a simple cleaning, but I’m not counting on it), plane tickets and hotel for an upcoming wedding, root canals, oral surgery, sick kids, sick husband, not to mention that we’re hemorrhaging money for all these things…it’s no wonder that I finally broke. A person can only juggle so many balls at one time before they all start to fall.

My body was what finally broke down (after my mind, or course). I’ve had bronchitis for over a week, and it’s the worst I’ve ever had. I discovered I’m allergic to Erythromycin, as I still have remnants of the puffy eyes to prove it. The doctor even looked at my husband and told him, “She needs rest…lots of it.”

It’s never good for me to ask “why?” Most of the time, there isn’t an immediate answer. But this is what I’ve realized out of all this chaos…rather than asking why, I NEED TO SURRENDER!

So now I have my word…”SURRENDER.”

It’s not going to be easy. In fact, it’s going to be daily. I know how I am. Every morning I’ll pick up the load and try juggling again, until I hear that still small voice whisper… “surrender.”

Why do you think we have such a hard time learning to surrender? Why is it especially hard for women?

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One thought on “I Surrender

  1. Pingback: Beyond Our Control | Write Side of the Road

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