Finding My Peace…or Finding My Piece

Reflection 2Some days peace seems unattainable, a reality for other people, but definitely not for me.

The house is a mess, the dishes aren’t done, the kids are still in their pajamas at noon, the bills need to be paid, and phone calls need to be made…sound familiar?

At this point I usually have 2 choices: let the chaos eat away at my joy, sending my blood pressure through the roof, or I can stop, take a breath, and bask in the beautiful mess.

I will never be the woman who has it all together, at least not by the over-achiever’s standards. It’s just not in my DNA. Don’t get me wrong, I am not a slacker by any means. My family is well taken care of and my responsibilities are always handled in a timely manner. But some days, when I compare myself to my peers, I just don’t measure up. That’s when I find myself losing my peace.

So I set out to find peace in the chaos. I know my joy comes from God, but peace, at least for me, is my ability to rest in that joy. And sometimes I think I’m working too hard to do just that.

I think, what I really need to find is my PIECE. Where do I fit? What function to I serve? What part do I join together? Am I meant to create, to fix, to brace?

I’m learning that the older I get, the more my peace, and my piece, change. My peace in my 20s, even in my 30s, was not what my peace is in my 40s.

In my 20s peace was existential, and changed with the wind. In my 30s, my peace was found in my family and my children. But my 40s are different.

Now my peace, and my piece, is a little bit tattered, a little bit worn from use, and a little more flexible than it was years ago. My piece has been shifted and loosened, then tightened and wedged, and even broken at times.

But like a chipped piece from a beautiful china vase, my peace can be fit back into place. I can match up the edges, and I can gently work it back into place. And even if there is a scar left where the piece had been broken, it won’t change the beauty of the piece.

So I guess my piece really is my peace…just waiting to be put back into place.

Where do you find your peace?

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